Umbran Lovers
by Zecrus-chan
Summary: My name is Shadow the Hedgehog...and i think i'm in hell. Then again, when you live with a bunch of characters from different universes, in a city with little relevance, who could blame me? Especially, when i have to deal with a certain blue haired woman who is too happy for her own good, to the point of it being annoying. Be glad you are not me. It'll add years to your life.
1. The Worst Birthday Morning in Existence!

/Shadow's POV

Setting: A random apartment complex, near downtown Buffalo, New York; 8:20am

My name is Shadow the Hedgehog...and i think i'm in hell. In fact, my situation is so exhaustively bad, that i think calling my life a living hell, is a sheer understatement. Then again, who could blame me? The answer is this: I don't know and...i don't care. All i can say to you, is be glad that you are not me. Be extremely glad that you are not me. On the contrary, If it weren't for my friend, Claire Farron, keeping me sane, i would have shot myself brainless, by day 3. To think that i actually didn't have a choice, in terms of living here. Why you ask? Well, i'll get to that, soon enough. If you are patient enough to sit through my ramblings, then i say to you, congratulations...and welcome to hell! You can forget about the buffet.

Today, however, marks what is supposed to be one of my better days in my life. The anniversary of the day that i was born. My loyal fans know all too well, that it was a dark time in my life, in it's beginning, but i'd rather not bore you with the details. Anyways, i currently live in the surprisingly vibrant city of Buffalo, New York. Much to my surprise, i'm surrounded by women most of the time. I wouldn't mind that fact, if it weren't for the instance that the majority of women that i spend my time with on a daily basis, are completely dysfunctional. Take for example, my roommates. One is a humanoid emotion, who cares way too much about her apperance, and her exposure to microorganisms ever day, like the rest of us. The other is a provocative British witch, who is too playful and carefree with her sexuality, for her own damn good. Also, she cares way too much about her apperance...

The germaphobic woman is named Disgust, while the provocative magic amazon woman is named Cereza. People mainly refer to her as "Bayonetta", but i prefer not to use nicknames. They are the banes of my existance anyway, so if i were to use nicknames, in an alternate universe, i would refer to them as just that: "The banes of my existance." In fact, one of the plethora of things i cannot stand about them is their fetish for waking me up, when i don't prefer it. For example...

"Happy Birthday, Shadow!" said Disgust and Cereza, in their usual annoying tones. Don't get me wrong, i accept the fact that they care. In fact, i appreciate that very much. Doesn't change the fact that they're annoying as all hell.

"Grrr..." I growl, as i'm in a very cranky mood. "Leave me be...both of you!"

"Uhh...no, genius" Disgust retorts, not paying attention to the fact that i'm pissed off. "It's your birthday, roomie. We have the entire day planned for you, so you need to get up, and get ready!"

"Sure...in about a half hour" I retort sarcastically.

"Fat chance, roomie. Like i care about your sleep pattern today."

"You better start caring. I'm going back to sleep"

This is the part where i attempt to fall back asleep and Cereza makes an interruption of her very own, to prevent from doing so. The one day that i actually want to sleep in, for once, and i can't even have that. Once again, welcome to my hell.

"You're absolutely delusional!" Cereza remarks. Keep in mind, that she is a total smart alec. "Don't make us angry, Shadow the Hedgehog! You wouldn't like us when we're angry! We might get a bit...naughty."

"How erotic..." I say, once again in a sarcastic tone.

"Aww, what's the matter? Why so moody, Cheshire?"

"Stop calling me Cheshire! I'm not a damn cat!"

"Yes you are...And since it's your birthday...Would you like me to make you purr?"

At that point, I've had it. I was use to her sexual sarcasm, but today, i just didn't want to deal with it. I got up immediately from my bed, and walked eruptly away from the Anarchy twins.

"That's it, i'm leaving!" I said, in peak of my annoyance.

"Oh, don't be like that, Shadow. I was only joshing with you. You know how i am."

"Hmph, whatever...i'm not in the mood for it today."

"Wait, Shadow?" Disgust shouts out of nowhere. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going outside." I replied. "I'd appreciate it if i was not bothered."

"Fine by me, roomie. Just be back soon, ok? Cereza and I, have a whole day planned for you, and your gonna go through it, whether you like it or not...Am i clear?"

I clenched my fist in anger...i then realized that they did care about my birthday. Since they were going through great length to show that they care, it would be unfair to them if i acted aggressive, like i usually do towards them. "Fine." I said very reluctantly. I didn't know what they had planned for me, but i'd rather clear my mind first and cool down, before i go with them. I exited the apartment, and made my way to the apartment of a very good friend of mine. Since we both live in the same apartment complex, i didn't have to go very far, especially since her door is right across from mine.

Her real name is Claire Farron, but she mainly goes by the allius, Lightning. Ever since she moved here, she was immediately welcoming to me, similar to how Disgust and Cereza were at the same time, when i first met them, except that Claire was actually sane. I know that i'm exaggerating, but i don't care. The fact of the matter is that, no matter what happens, i know that i can always count on her, if i need anything. Like Rouge and Omega, i genuinely consider her as a friend.

At least, when i go and spend time with her, i'll know that this morning will get somewhat better, at the very least. However, knowing my luck, anything can happen with me in this damn city. Regardless, i'll at least have some time to enjoy myself before the hellish festivites that my roommates have in store for me, commence. On a brighter note...at least i won't have the urge to shoot myself brainless, let alone spend my birthday by myself. It's a plus...i suppose.


	2. Lightning's Perfect Day

/Claire Farron(Lightning)'s POV

Setting: A random apartment complex, Buffalo, New York; 8:25am

Out of all of the places that i imagined myself being in...i have to be blunt, Buffalo City never made the cut, in my mind. I'll make that very clear...it never crossed my mind, not for a second. Yet here i am now...lounging in a decent apartment, polishing my gunblade, watching The Price is Right, at the same time. For some reason, that is solely what i like to watch in the morning, out of the 400 other shows i could be watching instead. But hey...it's better than watching some crummy sitcom, like Married with Children...or Maury.

Today is a very different day, however. It's my good friend, Shadow the Hedgehog's birthday. Normally, he doesn't like celebrating his birthday...ever. But at the very least, i'll get the chance to spend time with him. Out of all the people i met here, in this city, Shadow was the one i've grown the closest with. I haven't seen my other friends Snow, Hope, Vanille, Fang, my sister Serah and Sazh, since the completion of my recent game, Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII. We went our seperate ways...and i didn't really have anyone close in my life, that was nearby until i moved here 3 months ago. Long story short, as of now, Shadow is my best friend.

I got up extra early today for the occasion, mainly because i plan to treat him to breakfast and give him his birthday gift. What is it, you may ask? Well, you'll find out soon enough, now won't you? I will say this though...i didn't buy it. I handcrafted it myself, with material i found near Mount Kilimanjaro a month prior. I'm sure he'll like it, as i know that he wanted something like it for some time now.

Regardless, i'm all set and ready to go. All that's left is to wait until Shadow gets here. And judging from the low-toned mumbling that i hear, near my door, he's already here. He also seems very upset and cranky. I've gotten use to that. As you know already, he doesn't like his roommates. I'm actually good friends with them...however, i understand why Shadow feels annoyed with them. Why he hasn't moved in with me yet, i will never know.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

I hear the door knock. I knew it was Shadow. I walked towards the door and opened it. When i saw him...he was pretty annoyed.

"Goodmorning, Claire..." Shadow says in a mellow tone. Yes, my actual name is Claire. I only share that to my closest friends. Shadow is one of them. And i can't stand him being mellow on what's supposed to be a happy occasion.

"Goodmorning, Shadow!" I say with a warm smile on my face. "Happy Birthday!"

"Thank you. It means a lot."

"Why are you so mellow, this early in the morning?"

"Take a wild guess..."

When he said that, i knew that he was referring to the usual suspects: Bayonetta and Disgust. Don't get me wrong...They're nice people. They like to joke around with Shadow a bit too much however, and in result, he gets very pissy with them. I tell them this but...they just don't want to listen. Again, i don't get why Shadow hasn't moved into my place yet. I just don't get it.

"I see..." I say, in an awkward tone. "What did they do this time?"

"They woke me up early, rendering me in a very cranky mood. I had to deal with Disgust's stereotypical attitude and Cereza's sexual toying. I didn't want to deal with it, especially since they apparently have the entire day planned for me, so they say."

Now that was unexpected. I'm not talking about Shadow's complaints about them of course, but the fact that Disgust and Bayonetta actually have plans for him, for his birthday already. It kinda sucks, especially since i originally had plans of my own for them. However, i can be flexible. After all, it is his birthday. I wan't him to get as much enjoyment out of this day as possible.

"Mind if i ask you something?" I say very anxiously.

"By all means..." Shadow says in a very mellow tone, yet again.

"I originally planned stuff of my own to do with you, like treating you to breakfast..."

"Go on." He says with curiosity...and hope.

"However, since Bayonetta and Disgust have already made plans with you, it would be selfish of me to take you from them today."

"I thought i knew you better than that..." Shadow says very disappointingly.

"Which is why, i'll be tagging along with you guys. You'll need someone to keep you sane, right?" I say with a warm smile.

"Hmph! I suppose." Shadow says to me with a immediate smirk on his face. He rarely smirks, even around me. I knew then that he was happy that i was coming along, although he didn't show it much, other than the slight smirk. Regardless, i'm glad that he's glad.

"Good." I say very firmly. "Let's go back to your apartment then. I know you don't want to right now, but i'll lend a hand into attempting to setting them straight. Hopefully, it'll makes things easier for you today"

"Thank you, Claire. You're a real friend. And i don't say that so carelessly."

"Same to you, Shadow. I'll always have your ba-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

We were both startled from the blood curdling scream that emerged out of nowhere. It came from Shadow's apartment, which can mean one of a plethora of other situations. I had no time to think of that however, as i became very urgent in finding out what happend, as quickly as possible.

"Come on, Shadow!" I shouted at him, as i raced towards his door and opened it with full force. What i saw next was...utterly humiliating. Shadow was shaking in anger of what he witnessed, and i felt...utterly humiliated. None of that mattered however. It's Shadow's birthday and i won't be damned if he has a bad day because of his own roommates. I need help him to assess the situation...and quickly too. I'm starting to get hungry.


End file.
